“I’m Not Asking to Be Exceptional” – A Disabled Staff Member 

Content Note: Ableism, Racism, Masking, Internalized Ableism 

Dear Leadership, 

I joined this organization because I believe in science, and I believe in young peoples. I think every child should see someone like them—even here. 

But truth is, I have felt invisible many times. People say “representation matters,” but it’s not only photos. It’s how you treat someone when nobody is watching. 

I got called the name of the other brown instructor, more than one time. “We met before,” someone said. But no—we did not. 

I smile. I said, “No worries.” But inside, there is worry. Because if people don’t know who I am, how can they understand me? 

I live with Crohn’s disease. Some days, I am fine. Other days, I skip lunch or make excuses to stay close to the bathroom. I don’t talk about it. I try to be easy. I try to be better. I try not to complain. 

But I also feel tired. Not just my body. My heart, too. I’m tired of hiding. Tired and afraid to ask for things, because maybe people will think I am difficult. 

I do a good job. I follow instructions. I make science fun. But sometimes I think—do people want me stay here? Would they notice if I was gone? 

If we want diverse kids to feel they belong in STEM, we must also hire and keep diverse staff. 

Inclusion only for campers is not true inclusion.